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Kelso
The Midnight Plumbers guide to the beautiful Scottish border town of Kelso, home to Britain’s friendliest racecourse and a plumbers’ favourite.
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Longchamp
Qua-a-a-a-nd il me prend dans ses bras, il me parle tout bas, je voie la vie en rose… What can you say about Paris that hasn’t been said a thousand times before? One of the most charismatic, romantic and fascinating cities in Europe. Home of the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower, Maxim’s and La Coupole,…
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Two down, two to go
HowyaIt’s day three and I’m sitting here with a smile the size of Cork on me bake. Jaysus but it’s been deadly so far.Tuesday was brand new and I was laughing me cacks off at the faces of the English eejits who thought they were all in on this steamer for Sweet Wake to romp…
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Sweets for me sweet, Noland for me honey
HowyaJayus I love the smell of a scam in the morning. First Tuesday of Cheltenham and there’s already a whisper for a hit on the sods with the satchels. A whisper? It’s a bleeding roar.You’ll know that every Paddy is supposed to be on Sweet Wake in the opener, convinced that he’ll rattle up like…
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Royal Bleedin Ascot
Howya Here I am at Ascot and I have to tell youse it’s bleeding deadly. Sure and I know it says Royal Ascot in the papers but she’s no queen of mine sure she’s not. She’s a nice enough old cow but as far as I’m concerned she sits down to do her business like…
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St Paddy’s Day. Please!!!
Happy St Paddy’s to youse all but jayus lads, how bad was that yesterday? The drink link has taken a bigger battering than Lisa Jones gives her gee gees. If Mrs O’Farrell knew how much cash I lost to those thieves on the rails then she’d have me large lad in her handbag and be…
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Fer feck’s sake Fallon
Howya Oh jaysus. Poor Keiren. He’s really gone and done it this time. The Fallon fella was only doing his job and making sure his nag didn’t win when it wasn’t supposed to so that the one of Jamie Osbourne’s got over the line first. Where was the harm in that? But the eejit had…
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Sea Biscuit? See me.
Howya Was youse watching the Oscars the other night? Blinding it was apart from that diddy bitch-bag Billy Crystal. You ever seen anyone more in need of a good kick in the bollocks? Me neither. Anyways it minded me of that film Sea Biscuit about that ould horse that won all them races in America.…
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Top of the morning line to you
Howya Being followers of the sport of kings as you are, you’ll have seen me name on your racecard and in your papers and here I am to write for youse every now and again. Me oul sweat Paul Pot gave me the gig and said I should tell youse all about the grand game…
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Tight Squeeze
I was rigging up a dishwasher for a family down Ronald Place last week. Don’t know why he couldn’t just have bought her a pair of pink Marigold gloves and saved himself a few quid but who am I to argue. In fact he’d have saved himself a good few quid more if he’d been…