Month: March 2004

  • Magnier’s the real cowboy

    Howya Jaysus was I not after telling you that eejit JP Magnier was as much use as a condom on a fish? He had a double handful coming to the last on Rhinestone Cowboy but didn’t make a move until the winner was home and hosed. If the ape had made his move any later […]

  • School’s A Scandal

    The charge: that they wantonly and negligently stand by and do nothing while our Education system lurches from crisis to crisis, leading to a dumbing-down of academic and social standards

  • St Paddy’s Day. Please!!!

    Happy St Paddy’s to youse all but jayus lads, how bad was that yesterday? The drink link has taken a bigger battering than Lisa Jones gives her gee gees. If Mrs O’Farrell knew how much cash I lost to those thieves on the rails then she’d have me large lad in her handbag and be […]

  • Paradise found

    Howya Jaysus it’s bleedin deadly here at Cheltenham, so it is. There’s always something special in the air down here — probably the farts of ten thousand paddies after a night on the black stuff but who’s caring. Sure and I had the chance to be riding for Jamie Osbourne at Southwell today but what’s […]

  • Tesco the Oppressor

    Brothers and sisters, a great wrong has been done. I discovered today that my local “Big Issue” seller has been repeatedly moved on from his preferred patch outside Tesco by the management of the store. I’m sure you’ll agree that this sort of harassment in unacceptable. The man is responsible for selling the only reasonably […]

  • Crazy like a Fox

    Howya Jaysus it’s a terrible time to be a jockey and it’s all the fault of that feckin eejit Fallon. I’ve been telling him for years that he’d get caught eventually but did he listen? Did he feck as like. That’s the trouble wi these top jocks, they look up at a fat git like […]

  • Footballers Lives

    Hello sweeties My what a terrible kerfuffle over those beastly football chaps who have been locked up in Spain. The molesters from Leicester as Hotwire Harry my driver called them this morning. I don’t read the ghastly tabloids myself of course but Harry tells me that the molesters broke into the rooms of some unsuspecting […]

  • Nescafe No More

    Fair trade fortnight is finally here! It’s taken seven years to get off the ground but we’ll finally be able to sink the boot into Nescafe. Gold Blend? That couple would be the first against the wall if I had my way. Evil promoters of third world poverty and they obviously get sex quite often. […]

  • Fer feck’s sake Fallon

    Howya Oh jaysus. Poor Keiren. He’s really gone and done it this time. The Fallon fella was only doing his job and making sure his nag didn’t win when it wasn’t supposed to so that the one of Jamie Osbourne’s got over the line first. Where was the harm in that? But the eejit had […]

  • Sea Biscuit? See me.

    Howya Was youse watching the Oscars the other night? Blinding it was apart from that diddy bitch-bag Billy Crystal. You ever seen anyone more in need of a good kick in the bollocks? Me neither. Anyways it minded me of that film Sea Biscuit about that ould horse that won all them races in America. […]