Ode to Nicola

An epistle to the bewitching Ms Nicola Stephen

Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Woman wi’ two first names
Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Woman wi’ two hot flames
Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Continually playing games
Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Whit’s your bloody aims?

An essay on the failings of universal suffrage

An ode on the sad and perturbing occasion of the election fiasco of May 2007.

Just a little cross
How hard can it be
To stop old Baw Face
And the feckin SNP
Yet voters spoil papers
With halfwit capers
Mixing up digits
Like mental midgets
Like eejits
Like clowns
Like Gordon Browns
Call it hypocrisy
But I hate democracy
And bleedin bureaucracy
Just vote Labour
Like your neighbour always did
Just a little cross?
I’m pissed off