Ode to Nicola

An epistle to the bewitching Ms Nicola Stephen

Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Woman wi’ two first names
Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Woman wi’ two hot flames
Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Continually playing games
Oh Nicola
Oh Nicola
Whit’s your bloody aims?

A very liberal democrat

On the happy occasion of the announcement of the forthcoming lesbian nuptials of Margaret Smith, Liberal-Democrat MSP for Edinburgh West.

If it wisnae for oor lesbians where wid we be
In a parliament of rampant heterosexuality
Cause we’d hae nae minorities or even be non-PC
If we didnae hae oor share o’ the lezzies

Oh Maggie Smith is wonderful, oh Maggie Smith is swell
Cause she’s not only a lezzie, she’s getting wed as well
It’s tae anither wummin in case ye couldnae tell
Oh we’re fair modern, we’ve got married lezzies