It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in your tank Under the moonlight you catch a wiff that’s smellin’ pretty rank You try to clear but water floods the floor before you make it You start to scream, but a hero is on hand to have a bash He’ll only take cash
Tag: plumbing
St. Vincent
Bathroom shining white, Fix that shower and the old bidet…
Plumbing Rhapsody
Is this a real job? Is this just fantasy?
Tight Squeeze
I was rigging up a dishwasher for a family down Ronald Place last week. Don’t know why he couldn’t just have bought her a pair of pink Marigold gloves and saved himself a few quid but who am I to argue. In fact he’d have saved himself a good few quid more if he’d been… Continue reading Tight Squeeze
Cheese Eaters
As the constipated man says, it’s the waiting that’s the worst. Well I’ve been waiting for flippin weeks for this war to start and there’s not been so much as an exocet fired by accident. Not even a bit of death by friendly fire. Call this a war? Honest tradesmen like myself will obviously need… Continue reading Cheese Eaters
Tories in Trouble
I’ve been having a good think about the state of the Conservative Party in Britain. Two minutes it took me. Shower of flamin’ losers. Lady Thatcher would be turning in her grave if she could see the mess this lot was in. If she was dead. To think that the party she led to three… Continue reading Tories in Trouble
Asylum Seekers
It makes my blood boil, it really does. Who do these people think they are? You give them the English language, teach them cricket and football, put shoes on their feet and all they want to do is come to Britain and blow us up. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they want to take… Continue reading Asylum Seekers
Cherie Oh Baby
Who amongst us hasn’t enlisted the help of the convicted fraudster boyfriend of your former soft-porn actress best friend in order to save a few quid on a house? No, me neither. Does Mrs Blair really believe we will all fall for that quivering lower lip, I’m just a girlie, don’t really understand business, my… Continue reading Cherie Oh Baby
Firefighters
Now I’m the last man to stand in the way of someone earning a decent wage but those firefighters are getting right up my hooter. How can they honestly expect a 40 per cent pay rise for sitting around playing pool all week and rescuing cats from trees? The odd chip pan fire and the… Continue reading Firefighters
Posh Kidnap
What a rumpus about that so-called kidnap attempt on Mrs Posh Beckham by a gang of crazed Romanian gypsies. As usual the newspapers got it all wrong. Fair enough, it wasn’t nice that the gypos wanted to abduct Lady Victoria, hold her for a £5m ransom and threaten to chop her up into tiny pieces.… Continue reading Posh Kidnap