It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in your tank
Under the moonlight you catch a wiff that’s smellin’ pretty rank
You try to clear but water floods the floor before you make it
You start to scream, but a hero is on hand to have a bash
He’ll only take cashChorus
‘Cause you need a plumber, plumber tonight
And this one’s gonna save you from the blockage in yer pipes
You know it’s the midnight plumber, right
He’s fighting for your life, he’s the plumber, at midnight, tonight

You hear the door bell and realize he’s the man to save the day
You feel your heart skip and wonder if you’ll have the dough to pay
The job’s a skoosh and you hope that it’s a small remuneration
But all the while you hear the calculator countin’ up the pounds
He’s buyin’ the rounds

‘Cause he’s the midnight plumber, right
He’s gonna take a chance and then he’ll maybe win a prize
You know it’s the midnight plumbers, right
They’re fighting for what’s right, just call one tonight


Though plumbing’s their call,

These men can amuse and can fascinate

But there’s no escapin’ the closing time bell

(Another pint’d be swell)

There must be more to our lives

They’re out to get you, there’s bookies closing on the cash you hide
They will possess it unless you choose the plumber’s winning ride
You know it’s right, to put your dough on Paul Pot’s sure-fire pony
And thru the night, you can dream of nights of fun with Lady P.
She’ll make you see

That we’re the midnight plumbers, right

Cause we can break the scams that the others won’t go near
Girls, we’re the plumbers, right
So let us get it right and share the winnings, with us, tonight 

(The rap bit)
Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
But never fear the dripping tap
These plumbers work while others nap
And whosoever shall be found
Without the requisite Kelso pound
Cannot make the springtime trip
Nor count themselves among the hip
For quizzing with some style and flair
And the chance of picking winning mares
For fashion tips and news headlines

For fun and games in troubled times

You must turn to those you trust
And don’t forget their number
For no job is too small or large for
The heroic midnight plumber


  1. Hey nice site, came across it whilst looking for ideas for my own site. I am a real! plumber plymouth and was wondering if you could tell me where I can get the hangman game for my site? many thanks, Bryan

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