Switzerland, oh Switzerland

Switzerland, oh Switzerland

Land o’ cuckoo clocks

Cheese wi holes and loads o’ snow

And sledging wi John Noakes

Switzerland, oh Switzerland

Land o’ army knives

Mountains, lakes and chocolate

And such dreary little lives

Switzerland, oh Switzerland

Land o’ secret bankers

Ye’ve gaen up being neutral

And stuffed them English wankers

Switzerland, oh Switzerland

There is nae praise higher

Than for Scots tae toast the land

That gied us Ursi Meier

Referee, oh referee

Yer Scottish in disguise

Oh thank you Herr McMeier

Noo try a kilt for size