Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ cuckoo clocks
Cheese wi holes and loads o’ snow
And sledging wi John Noakes
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ army knives
Mountains, lakes and chocolate
And such dreary little lives
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ secret bankers
Ye’ve gaen up being neutral
And stuffed them English wankers
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
There is nae praise higher
Than for Scots tae toast the land
That gied us Ursi Meier
Referee, oh referee
Yer Scottish in disguise
Oh thank you Herr McMeier
Noo try a kilt for size