Christmas Lights

Well so that was Christmas and what did you do? Another year older, 20 bottles of shampoo. Thank Gucci that’s the end of another season of comfort and joy darlings. I have been to more openings, closings, celebrations and no-excuse parties than Jimmy Choo has seats in heaven. I have been ankled, I have been… Continue reading Christmas Lights

Review of 2002

YEARS ARE like pipes – you can look back at them, up them, down them or  along them but you can’t change the crap that was in them. And as I always say, if it’s true in plumbing then it’s true in life. In January, Johnny Foreigner and his continental cousins threw away their money… Continue reading Review of 2002

Firefighters

Now I’m the last man to stand in the way of someone earning a decent wage but those firefighters are getting right up my hooter. How can they honestly expect a 40 per cent pay rise for sitting around playing pool all week and rescuing cats from trees? The odd chip pan fire and the… Continue reading Firefighters

Butlers

Well sweeties! Aren’t the ghastly red-tops having fun with the butler and his boisterous bedroom behaviour? Your ring m’Lord? Meiow. Henny Throckmorton stayed over at the Windsor’s once and was so disgusted at not getting rogered by the staff that she nearly asked for her money back. She says it was the first time she… Continue reading Butlers

The Burrell Collection

Having previously written about Mr Paul Burrell, former butler to the blessed Diana, and suggested that he was a thieving git who should be executed, I now discover I was wrong. Mr Burrell is in fact not a thief. He told her Maj the Queen that he was going to ‘safeguard’ a few items of… Continue reading The Burrell Collection

Diana and Burrell

Is there no end to the indignities that poor Princess Diana must suffer? It’s bad enough that she is being portrayed as a slapper whose ex husband is cavorting around with an elderly horse-faced woman. Now we are told that her butler has been knicking all her best gear. First of all, just because the… Continue reading Diana and Burrell