We didn’t start the Parly

Sheena Easton, Weir’s Way, Donald Dewar, Paul McStay,

Jimmy Spankie, Jimmy Krankie, Billy Connolly

Lorraine Kelly, Banquo’s ghost, Willie Carson, Sunday Post

Jimmy Shand, Burntisland, Dougie Donnelly

Denis Law, Thane o’ Cawdor, Carol Smillie, Harry Lauder

Border tart, Braveheart, Daniel Nardini

Arnold Clark, Rob Roy, Jackie Bird, Peter McCloy

Fran and Anna, Fyffye’s banana, Shereen Nanjiani

We didn’t start the Parly

Costs were always rising

Because of bad advising

We didn’t start the Parly

No they didn’t cost it

So we nearly lost it

Ma Scotland

Pavements covered wi dog turd;

Pieces made wi lemon curd;

Drunken alkies, voices slurred;

Evening news by Jackie Bird,

Hanging oan her every word;

Ma Scotland.

Rain and wind, freezin cauld;

Slim Jim Baxter, Bertie Auld;

Hunners o’ wee men goin bald;

Sky Plus package been installed,

Hope the license van hisnae called;

Ma Scotland.

Bag o’ chips to romance her;

Fags and beer, oh ya dancer;

Every ned a Bengal Lancer;

World leader for lung cancer,

Doctors havnae got an answer;

Ma Scotland.

Deep-fried Mars bars on oor hearts;

Arbroath smokies, Border tarts;

Guid at snooker, guid at darts;

Wet, Wet Wet in the charts,

Whit a bunch of whining farts;

Ma Scotland.

Big Hen Broon still standing tall;

Wee wifies in the shopping maul;

Greggs the bakers, RS McCall;

Huns and Tims, bampots all,

Sectarianism’s always on the ball;

Ma Scotland.

Bowler-hatted marching Brits;

Carol Smillie’s threepenny bits;

Hairstyles worse than Robert Pritz;

Silicon Glen and empty pits,

Traditional industry left in bits;

Ma Scotland.