A welcome to wee Nicola

Nicola Sturgeon

Nippy sweetie

Make-up done

By Balfour Beatty

Nicola Sturgeon

Nippy sweetie

Goes like a bunny

Says toilet graffiti

Farewell to Whatsisname

Alas poor John Thingy

He’s here nae mair

He’s clean disappeared

Like the last o’ his hair

Alas poor John Thingy

He’s been fund oot

They cried him a loser

An gied him the boot

Alas poor John Thingy

He was nae brain surgeon

He thocht Alex Salmond

Was yon Nicola Sturgeon

Alas poor John Thingy

I liked him just fine

I was fair scunnered when

They made him resign

Alas poor John Thingy

We’ll see him nae mair

They’ve called for Roseanna

A lesbian? That’s rerr