Paradise found

Howya Jaysus it’s bleedin deadly here at Cheltenham, so it is. There’s always something special in the air down here — probably the farts of ten thousand paddies after a night on the black stuff but who’s caring. Sure and I had the chance to be riding for Jamie Osbourne at Southwell today but what’s… Continue reading Paradise found

Tesco the Oppressor

Brothers and sisters, a great wrong has been done. I discovered today that my local “Big Issue” seller has been repeatedly moved on from his preferred patch outside Tesco by the management of the store. I’m sure you’ll agree that this sort of harassment in unacceptable. The man is responsible for selling the only reasonably… Continue reading Tesco the Oppressor

Footballers Lives

Hello sweeties My what a terrible kerfuffle over those beastly football chaps who have been locked up in Spain. The molesters from Leicester as Hotwire Harry my driver called them this morning. I don’t read the ghastly tabloids myself of course but Harry tells me that the molesters broke into the rooms of some unsuspecting… Continue reading Footballers Lives

Sea Biscuit? See me.

Howya Was youse watching the Oscars the other night? Blinding it was apart from that diddy bitch-bag Billy Crystal. You ever seen anyone more in need of a good kick in the bollocks? Me neither. Anyways it minded me of that film Sea Biscuit about that ould horse that won all them races in America.… Continue reading Sea Biscuit? See me.

David Kelly RIP

Well blow me down with a gift voucher from B&Q. I was in this house in Argyll Avenue, up to my elbow in this woman’s waste pipe, when I heard the news on the radio. Turns out Tony Blair did nothing wrong in the whole David Kelly Iraq thingy after all. He’s cleaner than a… Continue reading David Kelly RIP